| WoW |
[May. 28th, 2007|10:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Life is so crazy, so amazing and amusing. It has been far to long since i have wrote in this,and I can not even remember how bleak that last entry was. Wow. I have been busy this year, I have resumed my studies for my AA; my GPA is 2.66 (C+) which I feel is acceptable after being outta class for 10 years.
It is so amazing to have someone in your life that really supports, inspires, and contributes to your life; he is the thread that runs through y whole life.
The kids are doing awesome: sapphyre had her first dance recital, mykah has been kicked out of his first pre-school. I have the best damn job in the world working at the Humane Society. Harrison is still working at Energizer, we get a sweet discount on batteries.
Life is peaceful and balanced, no internal drama, but there is one influence of discord... a vanilla friend, who has now been regulated to personal non grata hence forth per the Daddy decree. She has been a constant distraction with her form of friendship, she can't accept my lifestyle and she has no honor. I have no confidance in her loyalty, she has no idea how to be a friend. But that is a story for another day, it's late I have alot to do tomorrow and with Gods grace it will get done. |
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| back in the saddle again |
[Nov. 5th, 2006|07:07 am] |
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just little note to say i am awake and feeling better today and will be posting something profound after i get back from doing laundry |
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| Donations needed |
[Oct. 26th, 2006|10:38 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
As some of you may know it has been a hard year for us. Winter is coming faster than i hoped for and we still do not have a car. I know to some a car may seem like a luxury item but here in vermont it is a need. Last winter i had to use a sled to go grocery shopping, do the laundry and even bring the kids to their doctors appt when they were sick. Because i have been unemployed due to my anxiety and depression, we have not been able to save the money we hoped we would. I am trying to raise enough money to buy, insure and register a used car, just a few thousand dollars, any amount anyone maybe able to donate would be an answer to our prayer. We do not receive any kind of state or federal aid, nor any support from anyone for anything, other than what my Husband brings home from his job. I am not a begger or a mooch, I am just at the point of little hope. This is the last thing I wanted to do but hard times call for creative measures. I pray in the name of Our Lord Jesus and His Sacred Heart, that someone will have the heart to help us. |
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| people suck!!!!! |
[Oct. 11th, 2006|10:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
the common thread of my life so it seems people freaking suck!! what do you expect from me? to forget what i am and act differently, i am what and who i am no more no less. Do they expect me to forget what it is we agreed apon? my children are my life, i love them more than anything and will die to protect them, yet others think i will allow them to be put in harms way.... never!!! i like this solitary life, why did i want to have people join into it???? i can not help the world nor do i even care to befriend them. |
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| conflicted??? never |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|10:09 am] |
 | You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian.
Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins.
Buddhism | | 88% | Christianity | | 88% | Satanism | | 63% | Judaism | | 58% | Hinduism | | 58% | Paganism | | 58% | Islam | | 42% | agnosticism | | 17% | atheism | | 17% | </td>
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| Sometimes....... |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|10:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
people suck. that is a fact of life for some reason always surprises me when i learn it again and again. each time I find out they can not e trusted, that they will not hold confidences I am shocked and a little hurt but glad I only trust people with little secrets so when they finally do open there stupid fucking mouths and spill there guts nothing is damaged too badly..... i'd like to spill someone guts all over thefucking floor... dark dark mood today. Beware all that poke this bitch you will not see it coming. |
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| can u believe |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|06:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Misfits | ] |
what a day what a day....... I can not believe it.... a part of me is stunned still....... my wish may, well actually if everything all goes well this weekend will come true. Our family is growing! I am turning into a Mormen God forgive me for that, I didn't mean that whole morman part, I am Catholic through and through but I could be excommunacated for this I am sure, but hell there more than likely several other reasons for that besides this...ok we are getting a girlfriend. If confused please see any other previous post that talks about wanting to be a poly family or being in love with a certain special woman. She has agreed to take the chance, to say hell to what her family thinks cause she is going to do what makes her happy. We must tread carefully and open our hearts a little more, find the patience to make sure we actually hear what each partner is saying.
I must learn not to let outsiders chattering about anything that matters to me, get to me. they are simply flies buzzing about, that haven't landed their dumb asses on the sticky paper yet. sorry Lord that is even less Catholic of me, let them truly find what the deserve Lord. I pray everyone finds this level of happiness, this level of bliss, I pray everyone becomes a success. |
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| tell me i'm not conflicted |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|08:32 pm] |
| Your Political Profile: | | Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal | | Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal | | Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal | | Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal | | Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal | | Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal |
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| love again love more |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|01:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my place | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
have you ever wanted to hold someone so bad your hands itch to touch them? have you ever longed for the taste of them? where every daydream is reliving a moment that you already shared with this women? I have it bad. Have I ever told you how great and wonderful my husband is? He is a terrific father, always finding time to actually squeeze a giggle from them each day, he helps me to be a better mother. He can be so loving, caring, stern and a little scary all at the same time. He supported me in my religious quest and was confirmed along side me. He fills my heart with joy and my soul with peace. I love him more than anything. |
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| ahhhhhh |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|10:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home!! | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
talk about having the world at your finger tips. Amen for the information age! ah I have missed it. Now that I feel my daughter is old enough to start learning and using the computer, what is the right age? there weren't computers above a dos level when I was a kid....... Since I have become a full time wife and mother I am at peace Myk and I get some good time together potty training is progressing quickly and he isn't even 3 yet. Sapphy was lagging behind but since I know have the energy to do more than just the minumum homework... 1st grade gee'zum time flies. Married life is still the best lifestyle choice I have ever made. Right now I am just letting go and letting god let life unfold. Amen. |
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| Ohmygosh |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|05:58 pm] |
I can not believe it has been almost 2 years since I have had internet in my own house. yeah since after I got married. soon I will hae my 360 page set up and pictures of the kids posted, online classes, handling our financial portfolio.... the list goes on and on. |
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| so many things......... |
[Jul. 7th, 2006|03:33 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Vermont | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
How perfect can a single life be? how great is a life of two people that are partnered together working and raising a family? Why do I keep thinking that my relationship would be even more perfect if there was one more?? I want a girlfriend! shit you know He won't say no to having another women in the house. Why does polyamoure feel like it will be the right path? aside from the fun sex stuff I really think my biggest motivation for finding another full time mate is so I could have someone to help with my day to day wife and slave duties. SOme one else to get shit from the other room...... not that I do not love my Master very much some times ya just do not have time to play, ya need another party to either play with him or run interference with the kids. (lol) just sometimes you feel like being with another women, maybe its just me...... Plus my owner could help another one out there like me or like I use to be.... in our therapy he has healed so many wounds soothed so much of my emotional pain by causing me so much physical stimulus.It will be a year in october we have been living this lifestyle 24/7 and really I have never been happier, never more content. God put Adam (man) above all creatures and created women just for him..... (Hold the phone!) have a be come a christan BDSM'er????? when the hell did that happen??? (anyone remember the old yahoo chat room? ahh the old yahoo chat rooms.... who cares I still do not have a computer) anyway other than mine wanting a girlfriend, which will pass cause I always want one right after a 3 way, Life is Good. Saffy is 6 today, 6 fucking years old at exectly this time 6 years ago I was in the worst pain in my life, not even the drugs could kill that shit.... now she starts the first grade this year, she now rides her bike w/o training wheels, her bottom teeth are loose...... she thinks she has the world figured out and that her mother must be the smartest woman alive!!! it's a shame that part will change in the next couple of years. Myk is a very cute very quick tempered lil space monkey.... not alot changes day to day, ya might say it's a rut but it sure doesn't feel that way. |
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| Hosanna |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|09:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
what is it about the sun shining that just makes me want to sing?? I love my life, I love my family, My husband/Daddy/Owner is the most wonderful man in the whole damn world. The kids are happy and healthy. And I have realized most of the world has nothing to talk about unless it is a complaint.... which is why I guess I am here today. Everything in my life is so fucking awesome, I have to put it here cause no body wants to hear this shit in person on a daily basis.We are now firmly in the middle class tax bracket.( I backed the right horse lol) I am so content being a fulltime stay @ home wife and mother that only works pt not beecause I HAVE too but because It helps pay for the kids dance classes, sports and day camps. I love my life, calm and as normal as it may appear to be. Although some of my family may never understand that I love serving my husband to the extent I do, waiting on him hand and foot if need be to please him, the fulfillment I get out of being his babygirl slave wife is better than winning the lottery. Summer is almost here and I am sure this summer will be full of travel and a few surprises. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|01:45 pm] |
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Sag, week of 4/24: The day-to-day has become utterly uninteresting to you. On Monday, it's time to expand your horizons. Consider your future in the context of the past -- look how far you've come -- and make a plan. Set a goal or two. Tuesday and Wednesday, your life, looked at in a new light, is a game you suddenly enjoy playing. It's as if you're a kid again. And Thursday and Friday there is so much going on you have no chance of being bored. Saturday and Sunday, your most pressing responsibility will be to catch up on sleep. AMEN! you can always assume that when I am writting nothing than nothing bad is happening. I hate writting about good things cause I do not want to seem like I am bragging. but let me just say Life is good, praise the Lord. |
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| smoke and mirrors |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|02:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
where has anyone I have ever met gone..... or where have they stayed.... It is offical I have lost contact with every person I have ever known with the exception of 3 ppl I can thinkof right off the top... new phones, new lifes... and I have not checked in with any of them or youy for that matter in a year.... I really need to get a cell phone charger for my old phone.... as a matter of fact it might help to make sure I even have my old phone... but then again why bother.... it works both ways I have had the same email address for over 4 years now... best to move on and think of those old pals as fallen comrads, forgotten in the mist of mornings war. But fool that i am I still miss them all, it is just a shame I am what I am and that is all I can ever be.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|11:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
It is amazing that the less I actually have the happier I really am.... Our family is healthy, the kids are getting so big so fast, my son is amazing just by himself, a copycat of adult action and re-action.... going around with his toy tools trying to fix things in the house with Daddy. My daughter the drama queen is starting to get a grip on reality and realize that the world is a bigger place than her own back yard and does not revolve around her. Topped off with our spazy cat, spooky.... I laugh alot, my heart is at peace, all is right in our little world.... now I just need a new job lol maybe housewife. |
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| true to form |
[Nov. 25th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
1st fyi yahoo destroyed the phoenixserpent account months ago so no email or im (I should update my journal to reflect it)
2nd ah fuckit nm I forgot where I was going with it anyway.... nm I found it I think fuck it anyway....... life is so weird so many ppl just walk away or lose touch or out grow others that they call friends and family. I use to care about my friends and my family but lately I really don't. I am not avoiding them I just do not want the drama I create enough drama in my lives I really do not need any help. I have what I need and am happy with what I have. |
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| it worked!!!!!!!!! |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|03:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
sometimes public libraries do not let you post to these online journals due to that whole 9/11 thing (go figure) anyway....... You know what the WORST thing about moving so many times in one year is, it isn't the leaving people or things behind, nor the having to figure out all the best places to eat out, or the change in daily life, cause different places do things differently..... it IS the fact that SO MANY people look like the people from other places, you always walk around thinking damn she/he/ they look familiar but then you remember WHERE it was when you knew that person you were thinking of and of course it can't be them cause it isn't and THEN it all hits you..... NOTHING changes anywhere really, people want to talk about paralell dimensions and sci fi crap... I got them all beat right now someone that looks just like YOU is doing the same NOTHING you are!! Right now! as we speak someone who looks alot like me is doing this or comparible nothing right now somewhere else.... now THAT is scary. even scarier is I love it.... I am clean and somewhat sober.... what you didn't know I wasn't???? then I must not have talked to you while "living" in NJ I totally fell off the wagon and laughed my ass off while it kept on traving into the sunset.....that was scary, walking around in the dark thinking I had my eyes open just too bad it was all a fog. SO I am "Better" now, family still intact, still strong, the pack is denning for the winter....another season gone. |
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| test test |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|03:23 pm] |
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testy testy |
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| a few stolen moments........ |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|08:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
honestly that is all any one of us can get these days it seems, a few stolen moments to sit down and just have some time to ourselfs. so with mine I do this cause it helps me keep life in perspective. so after the NJ mistake (just THINKING I could go back there and NOT get lost in the chaos was WRONG) oh such a wrong choice.... out of the frying pan of sc and into the fires of nj..... see the real problem with nj is that your just one of millions of ppl in the NYC metro area.... you have to be really special, really educated have the best of everything even to become nothing......here in vt where I am back again, I have a better chance to carve myself out a nice little nitche. I have been gone 3 years (give or take) from this glorious state, when I left I had it all.... good job, nice apt, a GREAT life... I come back the same way I came here the first time in 1997 with the cloths on my back except now it is our backs...... this time I have help a husband, god love him, god love him...my strength... but it can not take me 5 years to get back to where I was when I left. I am older now and believe it or not a little wiser |
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autumn_phoenix's journal